My Dad has cancer - siblinks

spag · Newbie

My Dad has cancer

Date: Jul 4, 2007

I can relate to this - my dad had the same thing; they didn't think they could cure the liver cancer, and at best, long term chemo would be the solution. Then a surgeon in Liverpool said he could operate. Although still on chemo, my dad seems to be getting loads better (although he never seemed ill in the first place).

Even if it all seems lost, don't give up hope, because you never know what could happen.

K103 · Newbie

hi im nerly 12. my dad was diagnoesed with cancer 2 weeks ago. hes in a hospice now, but we know he wont get better.

is there any one in warrington who has had a similar experience?

kaz

xxx

-- Edited by K103 at 19:19, 2007-01-03

Date: Dec 19, 2006

Dear first poster.

Having a sad day which is what made me write. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in Jan 2004, treatment seemed to be going well until a pretty sudden relapse in September 2005, when it had spread to his liver, he died in October 2005. Over a year later I am still gutted and miss him but life does go on and you will have happy times again no matter what the outcome. Happy memories return rather than memories of illness. Take strength from other loved ones. One of my happiest last memories of my dad was looking at old photos together, recalling fantastic years together and just sharing that bond.

Best wishes, you will get through this.

x

Date: Jul 27, 2006

This is my story

In 2004 my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer. I had just come back from a big holiday away from my family when I came back all was fine, then my mum started having tests done and she wouldn’t tell me what the tests for I was 14 at the time and after she kept going back for more test I got more worried, when her results came back she told us, (me, my 2 little brothers and my little sister) that she had breast cancer. I didn’t know what to do so I cried and cried for 3 days, in this time I couldn’t sleep, when I couldn’t cry anymore because my eyes hurt to much and I was extremely dehydrated, I began to go over in my head what was going to happen and to me it didn’t look good. Mum told me she was going to have chemo and radiation therapy. I didn’t know what this was but I went to school the next day and looked in the library. I have read lots of books but none seem to give me a clear picture in my head what was going to happen, my parents wouldn’t explain it to me so I was pretty much stuck, everything was left down to my imagination, which was not a good thing your imagination makes everything seem worse than it really is. I was having a hard time copping at school I would start crying at random times, I had arguments with my teachers, I even walked out of my science class because my teacher was frustrating me he didn’t understand but to me it seemed he didn’t care, he is now one of my favourite teachers. I started going to the school counsellor once a week, so that I had some one I could talk to and trust, she didn’t understand what I was going through but she listened and helped me understand what I was feeling, we went through lots of different emotions but a lot of the time I didn’t feel anything, it was like there was a big hole where my emotions normally are. When I felt anything I felt frustration, I learnt through going to the counsellor that frustration is a mix of feelings so strong that it is like they are having a war inside me trying to over power each other. My came through the other end after the chemo and radiation fine her hair grew back down to her shoulders, life was almost back to normal. One year later she noticed a lump right where the other one was, the doctors said they couldn’t do anything except slow it down using more hormone treatment; she has been doing this since then but it didn’t seem to be doing much mum kept finding lumps all over the place but just around the area where it was at first. This year 2006 the cancer started growing really fast so they decided to give her chemo again to reduce the cancer again as the cant remove it completely. We don’t know when mum is going to stop chemo but we think we are about half way through. Fingers crossed

That is my story so far!!!

Date: Jun 25, 2006

hey my mum has breast cancer she has had it for 2 years now and it is getting worse. her treatments arent working but i have learnt to stay strong for her and the rest of my family. dont stop your life because of it enjoy every moment of the time you have left with you dad and remember that there are people out there who can help you to cope. when i first found out about my mum i was 14 yrs old and trust me i cryed for 3 days with out stopping it does help a little. i used to get up in the middle of the night because i couldnt sleep and do stupid things like wash windows or dishes, just to take my mind off things.every thing you feel is normal but u are not alone. there are people out there who have been or are going through similar things as you.if you feel i have been a help you can email me on jen_babe231@hotmail.com i am there for you and anybody else who needs me. but please promise me you will stay strong and you will be there for me if i need it

take care

xoxoxoxo

Jennie

Date: May 10, 2006

Hey, i kinda know what your going through. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2005. she had surgery and went through chemo.and she on the road to recover(if you can ever really recover). and at the begining of March we found out that her cancer was back and had most likely spread to her lungs. there are 6-10 spots in her bottom lobes. and they are 80% sure its cancer but, there a 20% its a infection of some kind. she had a lung bio on monday but, wont find out the results unitl friday...but i havent been going through it as long as you have,even if it does feel like forever. My biggest problem is i am my mother rock, that means i show hardly any of my emotion ,i even to keep them bottle up inside. i have to be stong for her , my dad, and the rest of my family...it feels like i have 50 tons on my shoulders...and my mom fighting as hard as she can,but i she doesnt make it through i dont know what im going to do...i cant deal with that...and its hard to she but i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach and my soul that she is going to make it...and that kills me...because how can i be strong for her if i have these thoughts in my head. it to much
Kate*

Date: Feb 6, 2006

Hi, my mum has had cancer for almost as long as I can remember, just after my sister was born. When I was younger, I blamed her (my sister), and we still can't get on (we're 21 and 17).

Ok all this is my background, so you can skip it - the helpful bits at the end!

Two years ago, my mum told me that the cancer was back ( I know this sounds stupid, but I didn't at any point think it would come back), and had spread to her bones. This was the start of an awful year.

Within 3 months, she was admitted to hospital, and had a hysterectomy, as she had ovarian cancer (unrelated), and a colostomy bag fitted. During this time, I was undergoing tests for huge swollen glands, they lost the test results, there was an unplanned pregnancy, a mugging, a close relative died, and Mam nearly died.

I'm not particulary close to my family, so it was hard to deal with it. We're learning to talk, but it's not easy, we get on, but its hard to break a life long habit!

I didn't realise until she had a hysterectomy, that the cancer had re-appeared several times, and she'd had treatment. That worried me - would they hide things from me in the future?

Well before christmas, she announced, that she had tumours on her liver and lungs (it's already in her bones). She started Herceptin a few weeks ago, and her hair is starting to fall out.

My dad has diabetes, and he doesn't seem to be looking after himself , so thats another worry - is he doing it deliberately? They both do so much more together - they've always been close, but its obviously more important to them now.

Everyday I worry, will she be here to see me get married, will she be around when I start a family, will be dad look after himself, how will my family stay together as a unit, how will my brother and sister cope, what will I do.

Everyone cries and is allowed to.

Everytime I'm down, or worrying about the future, I tell myself that I'm lucky to have had this much time, and that she wasn't taken away when I was very young.

It's not easy, but one of the best things I did was talk to my university counciller - it helped so much - friends are great, but sometimes it's the unbiased opinion thats needed.

Say the things you don't mean, (mine was 'I wish it was over, it's the uncertainty that makes it worse').

This is badly written I know, but its coming straight from the heart.

If anyone wants a chat my IM's are;

raetaff@hotmail.com

rachevans@aol.com

biccybug@tiscali.co.uk

spag · Newbie

Hi Jack

Im the one who started this thread. I can't imagine what you must be going through. It is bad enough for me about to lose one parent.

How are you? How are you feeling?

I am here for you mate to do what I can.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon

xxx

Date: Dec 8, 2005

hey, im nearly 17 years old and recently in may i lost my mum to breast cancer.now later in the year my dad has been diagnosed with oesophagus cancer.Just wanted to chat to anyone who can relate with what im going through.jack

beth · Member

Do any1 now any 1 in suffolk with cancer who i can talk 2

spag · Newbie

Hiya!

I wrote the original post just wasnt logged in. Im really sorry to hear about your dad i know how hard it is.

It is so hard and seemsreally unreal. Even know as we are seeing him deteriorate it is still seeming unreal. I don't know how i will get through it all.

How old are you? How is you dad atm? How are you?

Take care and it woiuld be good to hear from you soon

x

Date: May 27, 2005

I am in a similar situation.......dad has cancer (prostate), found out about 6 yrs ago, now they said the treatments are no longer working. I am having a difficult time dealing with it but manage to move through the motions, stay positive, and try to be supportive. It is weird bc i think most of the time a son will view his father as "invincible". I just found this site today, have been looking for similar ones. Keep positive.

-anonymous

Date: May 12, 2005

Hi

I am new to the site. I am nearly 17 years old and 9 years ago my dad was first diagnosed with bowel cancer which spread to his liver. Over the years he has had cancer on and off and has had lots of surgery and chemotherepy. However, last August after three years of being clear they found it had returned but is also in his lymphnodes and they cannot cure it this time.

I just wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation.

Take care

x